Thursday, 13 March 2014


Vol 40 uni                             

Do your mistakes sometimes take on the mantle of the furies (the Grecian women stalking wrongdoers not the band) foisting their painful memory on to you time and again? 
I know the feeling.

This mistake’s unusual though because, happily, I can’t remember it.

I’d mistakenly assumed, once married, that that part of my life was neatly tidied up and I’d thankfully never ever find someone fanciable ever again.  It was a shocking body blow then when, at uni, I was assigned a gipsy dark and dangerously attractive professor as my personal study coach involving twice weekly meetings in disconcertingly close proximity in his testosterone misted office.   It was on one such occasion that the mistake happened. 

I have no clue what.  My body may have once again betrayed me in some outrageous act aside the delectable don, experienced a clothes fail or committed some humiliating Freudian slip, or worse.  I have no idea.  What I do know is I was tortured by the said event which revisited me over and over while reading, driving, cooking and waking up at 3am, relentlessly causing me to drip sweat with the hot shame of it. 
Unable to face him again I considered quitting.
Around this time, our philosophy class’s break coincided with the psychology students’ and we collided at the common room shouldering in for brain reviving coffee.  Maybe it is to them that I owe a debt. 

According to their advice (doubtless desperate and asking on behalf of a dear friend of course), each time the spiteful memory shot in unglorious technicolour to the forefront of my mind, I instantly began to complete some brain task requiring intense concentration.  Probably times tables.  For good measure, as directed, I blinked very rapidly for some seconds each time.

Magically, over two or so days, my brain no doubt deciding that I was now disinterested in memories of my misdemeanour, filed it so far deep down below that it finally slunk then slithered away into oblivion.  

If you should have the misfortune to need to try this technique, probably best to do it in private.