This mistake finds me in Texas again, more specifically in The Stockyards, a fab touristy place exactly as you would imagine the TX of old with longhorn cows, honkytonk bars and a steam train perturbingly called the tarantula.
We’d gone there with our newly met young neighbours Jeff, a cowboy (would I lie to you – I would later ride his horse, Tom, I swear I’m not making this up – fatigued arms waggling afterwards, nearly dropping their newborn) and Kaycee, a new mum, who had kindly driven us here realising that we were apt to undershoot a destination whining that, since we’d been driving for hours, we must have gone past it and return.
Incidentally, once, while in TX we went to Paradise – mostly so that I could email my colleague and brag that I’d been to Paradise – only to discover that Paradise, far from being an abode of incomparable beauty, was exactly like any other town but the fact remains that, should I not ultimately end up in Paradise, I can at least die content in the knowledge that I’ve already been.
Anyway, back to the original mistake. As we wandered amiably round Billybobs, Kaycee began to display some slight signs of unrest.
“You okay?” from me.
“Yup,” she said - well she would wouldn’t she - “just a little uncomfortable.” I let it go but an hour or so later, posing now for a pic in the inevitable sun and Stetsons, I gently nudged.
“Are you sure Kaycee, you’ve gone quiet?” at last cajoling from her the admission;
“I need to pump,” muttering under her breath simultaneously beaming for the camera.
Aha, I knew something was wrong.
“Oh, no worries, go ahead,” keen to display a laisse faire attitude.
“I can’t. Not here!” regarding me wide-eyed at the prospect.
“Course you can, honest, I don’t mind, it’s fine,” and unbelievably in retrospect, I squeezed out a little trump of my own by way of encouragement, announcing triumphantly “See!”
Kaycee’s smile vanished as she swiftly clarified the desire to express herself was actually via a breast pump.