Thursday, 23 January 2014


How not to make mistakes

Vol 8 tie

Cheers for sticking with me and my mistakes so far.  This one can probably be filed under Trying Too Hard, again.  It’s not at all rude but it does have a slightly dubious word – not mine this time - just to mix it up a bit.

All mothers, perhaps rightly, but mostly not, believe something, or someone, at some stage, is not good enough for their daughter and I was no different, albeit around ten years early.

So, after one singularly harrowing (they all were to be fair) parents’ evening where Miss Ball informed me that my daughter was; “on the table, under the table, wrapped around the table leg, anywhere but at the table doing some work”, I decided that this school (I know, I know) wasn’t meeting my expectations and that’s how we found ourselves sitting in the oak laden office of Mr Booth, Headmaster of the splendid St Mary’s Infants and Junior School.

“The thing is, Mr Booth, she’s a little delicate, more leaning toward an education set against the backdrop of a supportive church like St Mary’s.”

“I’m certainly not saying her current school is rough or anything, she’s just, well … of a more sensitive countenance.”

I smile benignly down at her five year old face, to my mind the quintessential innocent.

“She’s always struck me as an other-worldly sort of child,"  thoughtfully, "a little ethereal, she simply isn’t at home in a non-denominational.”

After not too many more minutes of this and suchlike, Mr Booth is convinced at last and seals the deal with the St Mary’s tie which he fastens round her neck with a flourish.

“There we are, young lady, how’s that?” he asks beaming.

“Well” she declares, feet planted firmly astride, hands on hips,

”I FEEL A PROPER PILLOCK.”

… at that particular moment, a sentiment with which I am not inclined to disagree.